As a market player in the customized event stationery industry, we found this post trend in our news feed constantly.
As amused as we were in the portrayal of concepts on this invite, we slowly were pushed into shock.
Not the shock that arose out of the fact that the invitation looked horrible. With a poor layout and font style. Almost, as if it were designed on Microsoft Word.
The shock arose from a bigger reason.
We definitely celebrate ‘customer spends’, ‘creative adventures’ and ‘weddings extravaganzas’ – in that order. But what we celebrate the most – is our ethic to uphold respect and empathy among people.
And in its appreciation, we have become ambassadors of the stimulus that drives molestation, instigates domestic violence and promotes chauvinism.
Our questions to Mr. Harsha …
(i) Did you think it was more creative than impolite to actually portray your fiance laughing, while you are crying?
(ii) Born an Indian, you’re gifted with the heavily biased privilege of ‘choice’. Sometimes the society even accepts things because you choose them. Are you using that privilege to demean your fiance?
(iii) Did you assume your fiance would be intolerant? That she wouldn’t mind your mindless joke on her?
I swear, that if at all she’s actually agreed to this nonsense, then she’s the one plunging into that well for you?
(iv) You say ‘reality of marriage’. You declare you’re about to lose your freedom. Why don’t you bother to call this your funeral invitation and name it ‘A date with satan’?
(v) A noose isn’t what you are being subjected to. It is what she – is going to labor on her neck. A well isn’t what you are going to be plunge into. It’s where she’ll end up if she lives with you. Did you actually think it was amusing to have your guests greet your fiance as your gateway to hell at your wedding?
Why don’t you request wreaths instead of garlands and print a will instead of an invitation
(vi) If you want to blame society, blame it. Don’t you blame the soul who has trusted at least a part of her life with you. If you want to blame your insecurity, blame it. Don’t you dare blame the woman who believes you are qualified to share her progeny. If you want to blame circumstances, go ahead. Don’t you dare blame her for losing the freedom you are willfully succumbing.
Did you ever think of what she has left behind to be beside you? Did you think of the things she will sacrifice, just to support you? Did you think she was so blind in her love that she would digest being portrayed as an article in your jokes and still hold high the respect and trust she has in you?
(vii) I might just be lamenting in anger. But let me tell you, I’m happy you are alive and not in my sight. If at all, there is a reason I’m sparing you, it’s because I don’t want to screw up Nandhini’s life. Please learn to respect your fiance like an equal. Would you tolerate her publicizing the fact she has already lost her self-respect in return for her love on her invitation?
And to all those people, out there sharing and publicizing this, I have something to share with you as well. We do know that marriage is tough. It demands sacrifice, adjustment and tolerance. Yet, you hold so dear that institution for reasons beyond procreation. In a society that still believes that there is a woman behind every man’s success and had to watch Dangal to perceive what the vice-versa meant…. How could you? … Just how could you tolerate someone do this to their fiance?
If YOU’ve laughed over this, then ‘YOU’ are the perpetrators of societal evil.
Harsha, asks you to come give him a push. You’ve given him a pat instead. You’ve encouraged him to become ‘The Well’ that would drown Nandhini in misery.
Reality isn’t what exists. Reality is what we make of the present. And the first place to change that reality is in our heads.